Heart. Humanity, & Humor.
“If you pour a handful of salt into a cup of water, the water becomes undrinkable. But if you pour the salt into a river, people can continue to draw the water to cook, wash, and drink. The river is immense, and it has the capacity to receive, embrace, and transform. When our hearts are small, our understanding and compassion are limited, and we suffer. We can’t accept or tolerate others and their shortcomings, and we demand that they change. But when our hearts expand, these same things don’t make us suffer anymore. We have a lot of understanding and compassion and can embrace others. We accept others as they are, and then they have a chance to transform. So the Big Question is: How do we help our hearts grow?” — “Heart Like a River”, How to Love, Thich Nhat Hanh.
Part of doing this work includes humility — we learn that as we embark on this path we do not have all the answers, or most of them anyways. So we learn and grow — and this journey has been about growth and self-discovery in more ways than one. One great takeaway, thus far, has been a desire and commitment to lead with humanity.
All too often we get caught up in “being right” and that’s where progress ends. As we have grown in relationship with each other, we have learned that when we lead with the thought of “I have all the answers and other’s opinions matter not,” then we leave little to no room for growth or enlightenment.
That automatically alienates the very people who can lend themselves to our growth, to learn together, and those who wish to do better but feel cautious and lost with doubt and concern.
For some of us, when we first started talking publicly about Justice, Equity, Inclusion, and Diversity work in the Outdoors, it was easy to simply see the problem and look for a quick answer to fixing it. “If only everyone in the space, from the agencies like the National Park Service to outdoor brands, such as Patagonia and various outdoor organizations , simply listened to me and adhere to my ‘fix,’ then all would be well.”
With that in mind, and our experience, we offer these learnings.
From Teresa:
“When I started in this work, I didn’t leave much room for dialogue, others had their time to work on it, and in my eyes, they were not making progress fast enough. I wanted change to happen immediately, no more excuses, just get it done. There wasn’t much in the way of compassion in my approach. ‘These agencies and organization had years and yet they were moving at a snail’s pace,’ I thought, and of course I was right, because where was the proof of progress?
It finally took me listening to others whom I look up to, Jose being one, that I realized my approach was alienating me from the very people who wanted to hear me, wanted to work with me, but feared my approach. To them I was too abrasive, too loud, too confrontational and that created a disconnect — we weren’t listening to each other.”
From Jose:
“Part of why I chose bridge-building work was a belief that we could build connections across differences. It has also meant I would get it from both sides. For some I’ve been ‘too extreme’ and for others not enough. I remember first meeting Teresa and being a little afraid I was not going to ‘measure up’ to her. I did not know how we would align. I too was also impatient and wanted to get stuff done, but I wasn’t sure if I was being successful. Maybe I was not pushing hard enough, or I was not being ‘authentic’ enough ‘to my people.’ I think some saw my approach as ‘too soft’ without listening to the message, and others took the message as ‘too hard’ without paying attention to my approach. It required so much reflection and work, including how I viewed my peers, Teresa included, as important and necessary leaders within a spectrum of a movement.”
This work is relational. In that, one thing that we’ve come to understand and that serves as an important reminder, is that TRUST is key. Once trust is created from both sides, dialogue flows easier, and we create a well and reservoir to dip into , for mistakes. Not just for “opposing sides” but for our own communities too.
But that only comes from the humanity and compassion that we must offer one another. It is not weakness, they are sources of strength. Mistakes are part of our growth, we must make them, but when walls are up, we only see the mistake, not the person or their genuine desire to do better.
Humanity and compassion teach and remind us that we don’t need all the answers, that we can rely on others and give space for mistakes, to see those mistakes, and work at correcting them. That is the only path forward if we are to make true strides at any task. If we fail at humanity, we fail at progress. We are grateful for the lessons we have learned along the way — the journey is far from over, but we will continue to lead with humanity, and with the support of our comrades in this work, we will succeed.
In addition, we add humor to our work because this work is already hard enough. Proving oppression is hard enough. Unveiling discomfort is hard enough. Educating is hard enough. Navigating the turmoil of “tone policing and civility politics” is hard enough. Intentional non-destructive humor further allows us to see the humanity in each other, and share with each other a fuller richer range of emotions beyond the justifiable anger we feel and experience in the work. It also helps us so that we can bond over a wider set of experiences beyond shared and collective trauma. Again, it is a practice. And it is not exclusive of the knowledge that there are some real structural issues in place.
Moving forward we hope to build trust with those who are struggling with forgiveness, struggling with the way forward, struggling with self-doubt, who are walking warriors in pain, determined to be part of the solution, but stuck in managing all the noise that has set in from those around them. We believe once we allow the dust to settle and humanity to kick in, a clear path shall reveal itself. This includes moments to pause, reflect, and continue. And share a laugh as well. We have work to do.
Onward. We got us.
This note was also published in the The Daily, the official show daily publication for Outdoor Retailer, Summer 2019.
