Enviromantic.com: The Place for Flirtation and Facilitation
This past weekend (Update: this was years ago), with some good friends we stumbled up on the idea of an “eco-dating” website for young environmental and conservation professionals to meet up.
Yes there are several “eco” dating sites out there but we figured why not inject some humor into it and make it a bit nerdy/dorky. I found that coming up with humorous catchy phrases and key words is hard (duh, that’s comedy for you) without it having too much of an inside-joke quality. But that’s part of the fun, so if you get some of the references, then congratulations, you’re half-way there! The other half is to register at our imaginary website.
So here’s the pitch:
“Your place for flirtation and facilitation, the site for environmental and conservation professionals to meet and greet: Enviromantic.com. Whether your relationship style is K-selective (take it nice and slow) or r-selective (baby you had me at input/output model…”) there is no limiting factor in this dating pool so let your romance bloom. If you are ready to go from the littoral to the benthic, then let go of all those shallow-minded experiences and come get some depth at Enviromantic.com. So get out of the detritus and move up a throphic level; be the apex romantic you are meant to be. If you have difficulty standing out in the lek, be a keystone species, stand out, and come display your plumage at Enviromantic.com.
Relationship environmental impact analysis not required.”
If you are curious about some of the references (or don’t remember), write it up in the comments below. Here are the key words:
- Facilitation
- K-selective
- r-selective
- limiting factor
- bloom (as in algae bloom)
- littoral
- benthic
- detritus
- trophic
- apex
- lek
- keystone
And try your pick-up lines while at it: “I see why your’e surviving, you’re really fit” “Are those your pheromones coming my way?” “If you’re an ecosystem in succession…”
For those of you actually interested in rolling this out, heck why not? But we of course expect a cut of the action. The internet is date-stamping the idea right…now.
And finally, here are some boobies.
Photo Credits: Great Grey Owls by Christopher Dodds, Crested Terns by Wikipedia, Sage Grouse by Paul Noll, and Boobies by Ecuador Culture and Ecology Institute.
